Day of Doom and Blessings Unfolding

(Disclaimer: To those of you who may be upset about finding out big news about our lives over the internet, I apologize. It is not because we don't love you or want your support, but I am tired of calling people to tell them exhausting news. We welcome your prayers and phone calls of encouragement :)

On Friday, November 13th, I was informed that I will be losing my job at the end of the year. Sadly, some big projects that we had high hopes for were not granted to us and our company is in desperation to stay afloat. As a result, the firm can no longer afford to keep most of their staff. It has taken a few days for this news to sink in and marinate, but I have come to a place of trust and hope for the future.

Although these are scary and uncertain times, I cannot help but be thankful for this best-case-scenario for a terribly unwanted situation. To be given almost 2 month's notice of a coming layoff is a blessing that I will not allow to go unseen. I am confident (and have been reassured by my boss) that the loss of my job is in no way performance based. I am so sad to leave this position that has taught me so much about the design profession, but even more so about myself. I haven't always loved this job and have struggled through how to have a healthy work/life balance, and how to bring my Christian worldview into a "secular" workplace where a lot of the design work that I do supports a lifestyle I may not agree with. So much prayer and conversation with Dan and other close friends has only recently brought me to a place where I could confidently say that how my work can be used to glorify God is more of an internal heart issue than an external and situational issue. And just as I get comfortable, the bar is raised with a whole new level of lessons to unfold.

Just two weeks ago, I made the decision to apply to sit for the NCIDQ Exam in which my knowledge of how to design interiors that protect the health, safety and welfare of the public will be tested and, hopefully, approved. This is a turning point for me as it brings my responsibilities in design from an aesthetic level to a level at which I am focused on the public's quality of life. This layoff may be the push I needed to jump off the cozy cliff and dive into something more meaningful.

But profession aside, I am even more amazed at how my confidence in the fact that my identity does not rest in my employment at Michael Graves and Associates has been tested. My identity is found in God, and oh, how I do not want it to be found anywhere else. For he stays the same and He will care for our every need. As Dan and I have been studying the Old Testament over the past 2 years, we have learned how time and time again the people of God have expected blessings in all the things that they want and that God's intent and desire is to be the source and provision of all the things that we need.

My husband, family and friends have been so supportive as we've begun to break the news of this unexpected turn in the road. I could just cry over how richly blessed we are and how glad I am to say that I am not afraid of the future. Though I am sad at the loss and disappointed that things haven't gone the way I expected, our favorite hymn that we sang at our wedding and that I am sure will follow us through the rest of our lives plays softly in my head. I gladly proclaim,

"Whatever my lot, Though hast taught me to say, 'It is well, it is well with my soul!"